Why watermelon is God

Seriously. Watermelon is king. Nothing comes close. Well, maybe a watermelon margarita. Do they have those? Is it possible to make those? Or a watermelon mojito? I'll put money down there are people who can spin margaritas with anything-chocolate, sashimi, babies.

A running joke my cousin has is that in Israel vendors don't sell ice cream. they run around yelling "Avateeyach!,"(That's Hebrew for the greatest fruit in the world) He's a liar, or prone on telling fibs, if you feel me, so I don't know if we can trust him on that one.

Why is the pronoun I capitalized? It's so annoying to have to go back and erase and erase every time you fuck up. i smell. i cook. i am Hungarian. i like Jewish girls who like hiking. Works? You tell me.

I jsut finished my first, full-length short story, if that makes sense. It's just under 5,000 words, and I really, REALLY like it. It's very Rothian, and it revolves around, of course, a Jewish family in Brentwood, CA and how they cope with Yossi, the youngest son who comes back a conservative, brainwashed asshole after studying a year in yeshiva in Israel. More of an asshole than anything else who disagrees with the way jews live in america. then there's the brother, Nathan, who is conflicted and debates going to law school. I sent it to an old prof so he can play literary surgeon and rip the fucking thing apart like Will Hunting does to Sean in that oh so kick ass movie Good Will Hunting. Those punks were like 25 when they wrote that screenplay. Sorry, penned that screenplay. Ridiculous. I need to get crackin.