Tuesday, April 12, 2005

wacko for jacko

The daily nexus is running a 5-part piece on michael jackson and his pedophilia case. i find it amusing, but I'd rather see them dig under the surface and do some real reporting. some suggestions:

1) Dress up like michael and make friends with a rabid fan. Follow him to his house, make vegetable omelettes together, practice moves from Thriller, and then do some coke while staring at a picture of the King of Pop.

2) (Pretend) You're a pedophile! Harass anti-MJ activists, begging them to tell you where there kids go to school. See what happens when people don't play nice.

3) Come to court dressed in a suit and follow Sneddon and Jackon into the courtoom. Say "objection" whenever anybody mentions the word Neverland. Bring a mallet for extra attention.

LOOK OUT for my articles in Artsweek this Thursday. I put in Der Untergang, this great film about Hitler's last days in Berlin, and a review of The Civilians's Gone Missing, which was, to say in not-so-nice-words, pure shit. Shallow drivel revolving around humans' obsession with things that tried to spice things up with Platonic philosophy and Atlantis. Read it in full. We'll do these New York mofos some true journalistic justice.

Jewish College Night in LA this Thursday. Who's comin' with me? Who's comin' with me? The plan is to come back with Natalie Portman. Jewish, cute, smart (come on, she's an actor), funny (at least with Zach Braff's script), and Jewish. Did I say Jewish twice? Goddamn, that's thrice now.

Oh my. I really hate the word poetry. It just looks and sound girlie, definitely too feminine. Poe-Etry. It sounds like a fruit, like the word Guava. I'm not trying to rhyme, I'm just trying to be smart. Poetry. Yeesh.

Poet. That works. You're with your friends, sippin' on some Dom, and one goes:

"Hey Mont Blanc (always wanted that name) what's keeping you busy these days?"
"Oh, you know, Henry. Just the steelworks business. And I'm considering working as a full-time poet."


"Why, hello there! I never envisioned a man like you eating caviar before Church! I'm good. I've been dabbling in some poetry as of late.

Don't you guys like version 1 more?
I'm putting it up to you.
Leave a comment. Poetry or Poet?

It's one or the other. There ain't no middle ground. No one's safe. Not even Jacko.


At 3:20 PM, Anonymous tovah said...

poet, you nut

At 4:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

definitely poet yo. poetry is way too fucking girlie. and you aint no long legged, big breasted jappy girl. just long and lean and alllllll man.

At 9:59 PM, Anonymous saracita said...

poet. but jacko probably likes "poetry". he would now, wouldn't he?


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