Before the sun rose

i saw you before the sun rose
the air like dandelions, me five
come over my house
eat play-dough and cookies
play in mud with no clothes
we were too young to care

gave you sunflowers on your 13th
went ice skating, got hot dogs
a kiss in public, under rain
you held my hand, a taste of love
i was smiling. scared
and then I knew.

roses along the aisle, our parents in tears
rings on fingers to calm our fears
the setting sun spoke of fortunes
happiness
and not your sickness

held your hairless head up
when the cancer made its home
mitochondria fighting a war
we stood on the front lines
you slept, i prayed
my only defense

saw you dream for the last time
hands icy, frozen
set you down, beneath ground
dandelions everywhere
and contemplated whether to fall asleep
and find you