Create

Things tend to work out when you're least expecting them to.

I am a sincere subscriber to the basic tenents of procrastination.

I like ending sentences with prepositions, just because it'll piss you off, from above and inside.

I work (and am going full-time next year) for a company called the Forest Foundation. We do not save trees or whales. In fact, we use so much paper for meetings we are actually hurting the environment, and I would probably punch a humpback in the face if I ever saw one, face to face.

A real man knows how to play the accordion but chooses not to.

Yesterday I had my first turkey and cheese sandwich. More of like a bite of one. I was not sober at the time. Do I have regrets? No, not all that much.

My hair is dry and thick like an African's. I want to shave it all off but I'd look like a shorn testicle. So, the JewFro remains.

It's possible the Jews were never even IN Egypt 3000 years ago. Historians have found no evidence to the contrary, no mention ANYWHERE in ANY documents. So why do we eat Matzah? Because we're stupid.