Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Passover : Me stay hungry

We had 53 people at our Seder on Saturday Night. Fifty three. Ten of which were under five years old and/or 3 feet tall. I can continue with the math equations a bit more if you'd like, but that's really not what I'm here for. Though I do miss math, and you can take that all the way to the bank. The big, world-controlling Jewish bank.

I hate Passover because there's nothing to eat. Nothing good, anyway. I'm always hungry, no matter how many pieces of Matzah I break up and spread cream cheese or tomato/basil hummus over. Here's what I ate today:

Matzah with Peanut Butter and Jelly -Not bad, if you can make the sandwich line up properly. Be generous with the Jelly. She is your friend. And during Pesach, you need a lot of friends. Friends you can eat.
Matzah with Sun-Dried Tomato -Kind of gross, but I think the spread has been in my refrigerator for a couple of months.
Brown Rice and Chicken -My mom made this and packed it up before I left. Yes, the SuperJew is slightly spoiled, but hey, if you had a mom that could cook like mine, your fridge would be stuffed with throw-away aluminum cartons of food. Eat me.
Matzah Pizza -The classic. The trick is wetting the Matzah before you add the shitty Kosher4Passover Marina Sauce. The liquid layer prevents it from drying up. Use at least 3 types of cheese.
Matzah with K4P Knockwurst -The sausage was a bit greasy, and left me craving for more.
After seeing David Sedaris (who was funny, but funny like a Dry Martini kind of way) I had more Brown Rice and Chicken, and some Matzah with Hummus, which so far has been the hit of the holiday.

If I don't make it till Sunday Night, call my dad. My mom's leaving for Israel and she'd freak out if she found out I was starving. She wouldn't know who to call and complain to.

Damn you unleavened bread! Damn you all!


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