Sunday, September 04, 2005

The Killer Grizzles-I am alone in Encino

I've found a newfound appreciation for all things Iron & Wine, Sufjan Stevens-anything that's slow, mellow, at the brink of Elliot Smith styled depression but just a few inches away from the line of suicide. Fever Dream by I & W evokes this feeling of simultaneous hopelessness and hopefulness, where anguish has dipped in and left happiness a lurking shadow that's there, visible, within your midst but disappearing and reappearing further and further like a fleeting mirage.

I saw Grizzly Man tonight. Alone. It's a documentary about a documentarian, Tim Treadwell who spends 3 months every year living with and studying bears-but not doing much studying, besides giving them random titles like Chocolate, Tabitha, the Grinch, Rowdy, Mickey-and essentially loses his sanity and human quality over 13 years. He loses touch with reality, grows frustrated and inable to continue interpersonal relationships, preferring to frolic with man-eating killer grizzly bears.

Oh, I forgot to tell you. He got killed by a bear 2 years ago. A recovered alcoholic, his continual profession of his love for the bored bears is sad yet sweet at the same time: his neverending quest for a life of quasi-normalcy is dependent on saying "I love you I love you Iloveyou Iloveyoubears" every 10 minutes, or else he'll slip further into an even deeper spiral than the previous one. The physical proximity to the bears isn't so shocking, it's his dissatisfaction with the human world and conviction that he is bear, the bears see him as a bear, and because he "works" as their magical protector, he's somehow above everyone else. His disillusionment with civilization led him to an unrequited relationship with animals, where a farfetched solution to personal crisis begot him an untouchable life. Maybe he was crazier than before.

I can't believe I'm still thinking about it, this movie. I guess it really resonates with me, maybe it's 'cause I'm lonely, yet happy to be lonely. Maybe not exactly happy, but not complaining. I don't think I've ever seen a movie by myself. Is that pathetic? I'm wierd. I'm a fucking Grizzly Man. My bears are guitars, books, journals, diaries, the ipod, this computer screen, the untouchable reader (you). We're all Grizzlies, dedicated, awkward, introverted, able to hold our own and take the road less traveled because shit, life is just more interesting when you've got a body full of fur.

Safe Travels to all you..Tovah, Sarah, the New Orleans Refugees, Me, my brothers, all the Grizzlies OUT THERE.

Oh, and check out the new links, yo.

Currently Listening to: "Breakthrough" by MoDest MouSe.


At 5:46 PM, Anonymous saracita said...

hooray for shout outs on the aaron-blog! i heard grizzlyman was good & disturbing (eebert and popert told me so). i like your grizzly analogy. do you think when you are truly passionate about something, you may end up becoming a little crazy too? like tim treadwell? or nietzsche? or nijinsky? hmm... new bands i like: the mountain goats, spoon, arms of kismet. you should check 'em out.

At 5:54 PM, Anonymous saracita said...

haha. i put "eebert and popert" when i meant "ebert and roper". learn to type/spell jaffe...

At 9:53 PM, Blogger tzipi said...

i'm turning into that dude, except not with large dangerous animals just small, cute ones. sorry my typing sucks becaue i have a cat cuddled on one of my arms.

At 10:03 PM, Blogger Aaron said...

sweet! i like cats. do you like the new poems? does your cat?


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