Tuesday, September 06, 2005

still a grizzly man

I'm taking this Grizzly idea to an entirely different perspective.

As you can tell, I am a hairy, hairy beast. And I've come to terms with that, just like you should come to terms with your murderous tendencies, especially those of yours directed at small, crippled children, homoerotic clowns, chasidic rabbis who have less than 8 kids, and "guys" named Bernie.

But alas I've come to terms with the human rug, the magic carpet, the Aaron Small shag..It's part of my personality, gives me that extra oomph of testoserone when I need it most (during sex, stupid.)

Man, you're so hairy!
Ha. Yeah. Thanks.
It's just like, hair everywhere!
I know. I don't mind. I kinda like it, in a weird sort of way, you know.
No, I don't know. How do you live like this? Aren't your arms hot?
No, not really. Are we still on for sushi, or what?
Jesus. That's really-A LOT.
Yeah. Wanna touch it?

And so she does, and the night ends up wonderfully, a hicky on my cheek, my arm under her head and a hand on her haunches. We drink Naked BerryBlast the next morning. I'm not wearing a shirt, and neither is she.

Q: You know why?

(a) 'Cause I'm the mothafuckin' Grizzly Man
(b) 'Cause I'm the mothafuckin' Grizzly Man
(c) 'Cause I'm the mothafuckin' Grizzly Man
(d) 'Cause I'm the mothafuckin' Grizzly Man

6 Comments:

At 10:01 PM, Blogger tzipi said...

i kind of prefer the hair, actually. i dated a lot of skinny guys with no hair on their chests for a few years, but then i met my current (extremely hairy) boyfriend and i realize it's nice and manly. :P

 
At 3:48 PM, Blogger BrownsvilleGirl said...

I agree with Tzipi, even though friends make fun of me for it. I just like hairy guys. Preferably, ones with beards. :)

 
At 5:25 PM, Blogger Aaron said...

The Grizzly Man loves you both. And currently I'm on target for having a pretty thick beard.

 
At 10:31 PM, Blogger BrownsvilleGirl said...

Hot!

 
At 9:46 PM, Anonymous michael said...

I had a full beard at eighteen. You have a fucking challenger, Grizzly Man. The ultimate champion of Jewish Ursinity has yet to be determined. If you're lucky, you might be the mothafuckin' Malayan Sun Bear Man.

As my word verification says...bzhwig! Bzhwig pon ya rude boy!

 
At 4:57 PM, Blogger BrownsvilleGirl said...

Michael! You should be the Chairperson of the Bring Back Beards Campaign-Wisconsin Chapter! There're already branchs in Oregon, New York, and Florida (where our mascot lives) and the campaign is still growing...

 

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