still a grizzly man

I'm taking this Grizzly idea to an entirely different perspective.

As you can tell, I am a hairy, hairy beast. And I've come to terms with that, just like you should come to terms with your murderous tendencies, especially those of yours directed at small, crippled children, homoerotic clowns, chasidic rabbis who have less than 8 kids, and "guys" named Bernie.

But alas I've come to terms with the human rug, the magic carpet, the Aaron Small shag..It's part of my personality, gives me that extra oomph of testoserone when I need it most (during sex, stupid.)

Man, you're so hairy!
Ha. Yeah. Thanks.
It's just like, hair everywhere!
I know. I don't mind. I kinda like it, in a weird sort of way, you know.
No, I don't know. How do you live like this? Aren't your arms hot?
No, not really. Are we still on for sushi, or what?
Jesus. That's really-A LOT.
Yeah. Wanna touch it?

And so she does, and the night ends up wonderfully, a hicky on my cheek, my arm under her head and a hand on her haunches. We drink Naked BerryBlast the next morning. I'm not wearing a shirt, and neither is she.

Q: You know why?

(a) 'Cause I'm the mothafuckin' Grizzly Man
(b) 'Cause I'm the mothafuckin' Grizzly Man
(c) 'Cause I'm the mothafuckin' Grizzly Man
(d) 'Cause I'm the mothafuckin' Grizzly Man