The way of the Cyclops

So the official results are in, and it's quite clear that I've become what I've always feared I would: a man with one eye. Brownsville, Hannah, you're absolutely right, there's no way around it: I am a cyclops. It's time I learn to harness my powers, and take each difficulty in stride. What I realized though, is that there are some benefits to having one eye.

1. Ability to look into a microscope, and not have to close an eye--because I only have one.
2. Ability to look into binoculars, for the same reason mentioned above.
3. When I get punched and get a black eye, it won't look that weird, because there won't be another eye to compare it to.
4. When I wink at the pretty barista at Borders---she'll know.
5. Only one box of contact lenses---forever! (And half the amount of Visine bottles I'd normally buy)
6. When my boss says, "Aaron, give it an eye-over," I'll be like, "Okay," and totally mean it.
7. Now I can eye-ball olive oil, curry powder, cumin, and salt, and stop feeling dishonest like I did before.
8. My friends will say, "Damn, my eye hurts," and I'll say, "Yeah. I hate it when that happens."

There are, of course, some challenges posed by being a Cyclops. But with Buddhadharma, I can't see any of them.