Thursday, December 01, 2005

I'm moving to germany

At least the health care doesn't suck BALLS over in the duestchland. I swear. Today I realized why Americans hate the health care system in this country. I'm not talking about plans, prices, drugs -recreational or legal- but today I had to go through 6, yes SIX dermatologists to book an appointment. all conversations went like this:

"Hi. I have insurance. Blue Cross PPO. Yes, I'll hold. Holding. Blue Cross, Yes. I'd like to book a appointment with Dr. Rosen.

And I swear to you, here were the responses. I'll never forget them.

We have an opening Dec 23rd.
I can get you in the middle of January.
Our earliest available appointment is January 25th.
We're not accepting new patients until June.

Okay fuckers: What if I have some skin tumor or infection? I lump I can't identify? What if, what if, it's God forbid C-A-N-C- I don't even wanna WRITE the rest, what if it's that?!?! You still gonna push it off?

Thank god it's just a rash. And no, I won't tell you where. But it's not there, praise be the Lord.

In other news, my throat really hurts. If it's strep I am so screwed. Stay mental, it's all in your head, I keep telling myself. What else. Oh, what do you make of this? I just got a random text message. The perks of being first in everyones phone directory.

Oh my god i an so nice looking
when i an in blue underwear
i hope your CHAIr is ready for my hot ass

Poetry at its finest. Wierd this is, I think I know who sent it to me. And I'm also pretty sure she was an employee of mine for a while. So now what?


At 2:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Make like a CHAIr and put a smile on.

At 7:29 AM, Blogger BrownsvilleGirl said...

It's a deramtologist thing. My cousin had a bizarre break-out this summer and when she tried booking a derm. appt., they couldn't see her for like three months. Finally, one doctor told her to come and just sit around waiting for him to have a moment. What is it with Americans and their skin that it's more difficult to make a derm. appointment than it is to make one with a doctor?
Anyway, she was just allergic to the air at the camp she worked at. (Real diagnosis.)

At 2:14 PM, Anonymous Hannah Banana said...

You know thats why you always received phone calls from me. Because you ARE the first in my phone list. Also cuz you rock my socks. I hope you feel better, that your holidays are merry :) and that next year...we become better friends.


At 1:38 AM, Blogger Loganius said...

At least you can afford healthcare! I'm banking on Germany to save me from crippling medical/dental costs that are inevidable if i stay here.

At 1:24 PM, Anonymous aaron said...

I found one! He gave me ointment. Aaron loves ointment.


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