Tuesday, June 28, 2005

HUNGARY- Rude Israelis, Anti-Semitic Kosher Eateries, Chicks

It just keeps getting better.

After a quick (5 hr) train from Bratislava-->Budapest, we were accosted by a fellow in an orange hate. I'm traveling with 2 girls from mexico city who may or may not think I'm gay because I stared at a male mannequin too long, and we're staying at the mellow mood hostel. We have a 65 year old roomate who snores.

Just like Praha, Budapest is like a pre-made burrito. It gets better the longer you keep at it in the oven. bad analogies aside, the city is great, bustling, and full of history and communist statues which are literally everywhere. go check out some pictures and you'll see what I mean. (I never meant for this to be a descriptive travelogue-just funny instances of what's going on during my trip)

my family is hungarian, specifically on the ukranian border under the carpathian moountains in a town called uzgherod. THIS WILL SOUND WIERD, but for the first time in my life I feel truly at home, at least appearance wise. so many ppl here look like my dad, or my late grandpa, or my grandmother. Wavy hair, blue eyes, and moustaches!!! I think that look passed through the family genes-I get stopped all time from lost tourists, and nobody here will hesitate to speak to me in magyar. I can't understand a word. People are surprised I can't speak it. I don't know. I get the same thing in Italy (its the hair!), so maybe I'm jsut international, like a jewish james bond. My dream scene:

"Brei. Matzoh Brei. And remember, no chometz."

I started my day in the buda castle, which was cool but most of the museums were closed. no worries there. The cathedral is way cool. Kind of oriental inside-the magyarswere actually central asians, deriving from one the many -stans under russia.

next i hit up the synagogue. It was designed by a goy (who else?) and looks like a church with hebrew inscriptions. I got in free and skipped paying the ticket (to a synagogue) by walking in with a group of israelis. they were absolutely hysterical and embarassing at the same time. they all rushed the aron kodesh and started opening up the ark to see the 28 Torah Scrolls. Security came by and yelled "Slichah!!! LO!!!" but they just stayed put ad took pictures. it felt like being in encino.

Next I went to Carmel Cellar, which offers Hungarian-Jewish food. The waiter was a schmuck from the start. I am pretty convinced he's an anti-semite and that the entire staff is out to get me. I find it odd he put ME in the only booth with a picture-a vintage picture of the Western Wall. The chef put mini-vegetables near my goulash, for decoration probably, but I think his ulterior motive was to see if I'd eat them.

I ate them all, you bastard. And the pickles, and the goulash, and the dumplings...Hungarian food is good...But the women are even better. Better looking that is.

OH! One more funny scene in the restaurant: 3 old men and one woman were sitting alongside me. One of them sitting at the end in a blue polo shirt, elbows on the table, his hands in his face, I think said Auschwitz while eating his food. Moments later his son's phone rang. His ringtone? The theme from Schindler's List. There's a Curb your Enthusiasm scene there somewhere.

The plan tonight: Opera/ballet or Turkish Baths. I remain undecided-but leaning towards the Opera. It'll be my second. And in Hungarian! Who could pass that one up?

Pace, Amore, Baci, Besos a Tutti!
From Budapest, this is Aaron ibn Aryeh, signing off...


At 2:04 PM, Blogger tzipi said...

My dad is really dark, too. We were in Italy and people would come up to us and speak to him first in Italian and then in Spanish (he doesn't know either of those languages). My brother, too. I'm the palest, whitest white girl ever and people don't even believe me when I say I'm Jewish sometimes.


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